my love story

i met a girl in 3rd class, zermina. it was love at first sight. the way she smiled to me straining her neck every time she turned to talk-her eyes twinkling and her colgate white teeth made of the 'whitest' ivory- what a sight that was! i used to sit just behind her always cursing the boy she sat with(my teacher used to call it "desk partners" but i refrained from calling him that). i read at Bhartiya Vidya Bhawan, Chandigarh and she used to almost consistently top my class. her "dark greenish blue" eyes had the depth of an ocean her rich black eye lashes were the shells that kept the pearls safe(my debut at Google with a purpose enriched my lexicon wiht turquoise and emerald), her shoulder length hair neatly made into 2 pony tails and the sweet accent she used exponentially increased her charm. she was indeed a beauty with brains. i have a natural attraction to the things that i dont have.
it was a time when i wanted to leave a good impression on my teachers so that they complained less about my bad hand writing to my parents. when she raised her hand to answer, mine went down as a reflex. her voice had no comparison. i used to sit with a girl named Sugandha and had her telephone number too but i hardly called her. many of my friends had a crush on her. she was mean to me. i always used to forget some of my stationery at home and she used to complain to the teacher when i asked her for a pencil. i hated her to the hilt. time flied by and my dream of running away with Zermina on my cycle will never turn into reality. i had a talk about this with my grandmother and after a couple of minutes i realised that i had scared the wits out of her so i didnt tell her the minute details of the plan.

one day as my class treacher introduced us to a boy, a new comer in class who was to sit in Zermina's seat which had been vacant for a couple of days and i could hear my heart tearing apart. i almost cried in class. i let tears roll down to my ears under the cover of a bedsheet at night. i could hardly go to sleep.
whenever something bad happens, i compare it to my emotional state that day. it's the lowest i have ever felt.
well, after she was gone, i started talking to the girl who now occupied her seat and develped a distinct liking for her. well, it didnt last long. i was scared to see her go too.
13 years hence, i'm still the same. afraid, scared, fragile hearted..........